Flat Back

Why Won’t My Ex Call Me Back?

Do you find yourself asking When will my ex call back? more than you ask yourself any other question these days? Does he simply ignore you and never return your calls? Do you beg, plead and cry into his answering machine hoping he will finally give in and give you a ring?

Maybe you are trying too hard. The best thing you can do at this point is to step back, take a few breaths, and devote some serious effort to really finding out what you want and need from your ex. There are ways to almost guarantee he will call you back, but if you are not fully prepared with a step by step plan the whole thing will end in disaster. Again.

There is a seemingly magic formula that almost works as well as casting a spell to make your ex want to return your phone call, but until you know exactly what you are doing, do not do anything at all. Instead, start by asking yourself a few questions and be completely honest with your answers?

• Why do I need him to return my calls so badly? Is it just to take care of details (who is picking up the dog at the vet, come get your stuff off my couch, that sort of thing) or am I hoping for something more?
• Am I secretly hoping to patch up our relationship and get him to come back to me?
• Was our old relationship so wonderful that it is really not best to just let it go?
• What things did I love about him?
• What special about me did he love?
• Did he ever physically attack me or hurt me with verbal abuse? Warning: If the answer to this one is “yes”, even if only one time (and he flat-out BEGGED your forgiveness), DO NOT try to get him back. Do not call him. Walk away, write him off, and never look back. You have never done anything to deserve being abused.

If you have answered all those questions honestly and still want him to call you back, then there are concrete steps you can take in formulating a plan that will put you on the right track. It is all set forth in a little book called The Magic of Making Up, which you really need to get your hands on before you set forth on your own to get your ex back (or to just get him to call you back so you can find out where he left the can opener).

The Magic of Making Up is more than simply a book. It is a whole system for repairing damaged relationships (or keeping them healthy to begin with) created by a down to earth guy named T.W. Jackson. T.W. (T-Dub) doesn’t have a PhD or any other fancy doodads hanging on his wall — he just knows people and relationships and has helped over ten thousand people around the world keep their lives together.

In a nutshell, the strategy for getting your ex to call you back is simple: Don’t beg, don’t lie. Stir up his curiosity and appeal to his self interest. If you play it right, he will return your call thinking it was his own idea to call you. The whole plan can’t be covered in one short article, so you must read the book first so you do nothing to cause further damage to your relationship. If you don’t plan ahead, he might return your call and catch you unprepared for what to do next.

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